You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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