OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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