i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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