just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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