Don't make out with my wife yet
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
