WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
