she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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