I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
