Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
