I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
