so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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