Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
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I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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