remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
