No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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