a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
