escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
