Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
