Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
vagina is talking i cant
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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