they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
