Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What a dumb baby whore.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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