I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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