I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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