You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
