everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
