Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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