Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm both gender and math confused
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
