When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
