Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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