if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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