check it out our google latitudes are spooning
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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