So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
