Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
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Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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