he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Boobs speak an international language.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
