Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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