We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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