I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize