i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to calm my uterus...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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