Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
