If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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