I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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