Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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