With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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