It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
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I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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