I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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