the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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