Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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