Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
