i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
