I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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