Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
