Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize