Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Someone signed my nipple.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
