I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Panties = found
Randomize
