do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The struggles of a small town man whore
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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