you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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