dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
