that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize