You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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