I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
