Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
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She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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