There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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