none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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