the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
