All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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