How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
