i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
